miércoles, 23 de enero de 2013

Fear



My arms with blood are cleared
Far beyond the angel’s snow
And no torment I would fear
As through Hell I used to crow.

Take a breath and look at me:
Can you feel my woulnds?
Can you bear or you’d flee,
With the darkness of the fair
Angel –

-          You call me, but do you see
What I am within? A bin
Full of gasoline. Would you dare
To burn it, to pretend you care?
Care you enough to dare be so tough
To step inside?

Collide! Away, a flight!
No, you can’t hide!
Forget, annihilate our filthy pride!
And step inside, no fight…

Can you feel me now?
Are you perceiving how
My thoughts resign,                            
They fade away
To never ever let me stay…

AND we decline,
Our love becomes a fine
Lair of our fake desire.

And we decline,
We die, we fear
And we fall,
 the trap is tall,
And only fear we can hear.
No light, our sight ain’t clear.

And we fear,  
 fear,
 fear
Life and light we cannot bear.

And you bear, dear, fear
In your cristal, icy tear.
And it’s clear, dear, tear
Cannot tear away the fear.

And don’t you bear fear, dear,
To embrace your falling tear,
Clear, dear, clear
Your mind and
Tear,
 tear,
 tear
Away the fear, fear, dear!

Never clear, never tear,
Was it all about the fear…

martes, 8 de enero de 2013

Once again...



Once again it was raining. The stormy wind was mercilessly crashing into the century-old stemps of the abeles. A fearsome colide, a crash thundered into the nocturnal silence – one huge, strong, digne tree had hugged lovingly his neighbour, a tiny wooden house whose nylon windows were gracefully painted by the dextrous breath of the storm.
Almost instantly, a terrified scream followed, as if no one was sleeping in that miserable home. From within its icy entrails, through its broken mouth, a child emerged. Pale and skinny, it was crying and desperately calling its mother.
 No one answered but the storm. She, a fierce beast, caught its tiny body and squeezed it maternally within her lethal arms as if she was wispering to it “Don’t wory, my baby, I’m your mother now, I’ll take care of you, I promise, you won’t suffer anymore…”.
“No, let me go!”, the kid was screaming, but the loving step-mother wouldn’t listen. She kept on squeezing it, shouting to it, terrifying in her fury. She would never be a mother, she would never be able to embrasse her own beloved child. She was to be forever alone.
Realisnig her failure as a female creature, she started to cry, too. But her tears pierced like daggers the skin of the kid. Blood ran out and crimsoned the chin of the house. The kid got bluer and bluer, it couldn’t fight its inquisitor anymore. It gave up with one last silent cry that was hummed as if from its heart rather than its mouth.
-         -  Martin! Martin! – a girl cried out from within the monstrous rouins of the house.
She was pressed beneath the fallen roof of the house; in her pointless attempt to reconciliate her restless mind with the devouring coldness of the winter, she had fallen in an uneasy sleep thus she had been caught prisioner of the monsterous house.
She was fighting her way out, unconscious about the lurking torment out there. She stepped on something tender – the moment she looked down, a horrified scream deafened the storm’s shouters outside.
-        -  Mother, mother – she kept on screaming in delirium. – Mother, please, mother!
But the women could not hear her any more. Skinny, old-looking and illfull, she had died above the cadaver of her husband ; husband who’s heart could not bear the coldness and the misery and had ceased to beat in the midle of the storm.
The girl thrusted her head into the eye of the blind, glassless house in a desperate attempt to localise her little brother. Alas, his corpse had been taken away by his false, caring mother, who was now caressing its dead curls with her icy hands.
Nothing she could do – the girl got back into the monster’s stomac. She was bound to survive. In a desperate attempt to preserve her body heat, she took off the light dress of her mother’s corpse and the shirt of her father and decisively stepped out of the door.
The torment was now occupied with her new baby and wouldn’t pay attention to her. She seized her chance and ran; as fast as she could. Away, away, away out of this nightmare. Tired she was, but she could not stop, for the memoria of the monster was hounting her. She couldn’t let it get her, she couldn’t fight it all alone.
Came the dawn – the sun reappeared from beneath the clouds and omniously illuminated the fragile body of the exhausted child. It took no mercy on her, it didn’t even try to heal with its golden rays her wounds. No, it just looked at her for a second, then, too busy with his work, went on shining up there on the sky, indiferent to the human’s pain.
Three days later the girl was found by a farmer. He took her to the state’s hospital where the doctors fed her and bandaged her woulnds. Then she was sent to an orphanage where she melted her desteny with the ones of hundreds of abandoned children.
Taciturn and solitaire, she was growing up within the cruelty and the indiference of her step-mother – the state. No one wanted to adopt her for she was too old, whole eleven years-old! Often, she would think of her former family. She wouldn’t cry. In facts she was happy about them – they had been lucky that night – they were not suffering anymore, they were happily resting in their eternal dreams and could not feel the cruelty of the world.
She, she was the unlucky one. She was to continue existing, alone, abandoned, illiterate, miserable… She was to get elder, to be devoured by the worlds rules – she might get married to some drunkman in order not to be alone, she might work for him though he’d beat her every single night, she might work at the market-place (if she’d be lucky enough to gain a freezing place out there) or at the ring-road, where she’d be bound to offer herself to the foreign truckers.
Now the grief took control of her heart.