A goodbye letter

To Vlady…

You’ve changed. No, you might have not, I think I used to see the flash in your eyes. Yes, indeed, it’s been always there – that naughty, cowardly, ambitious flame…

I miss your friendship, I would sit and talk to you for hours… You’d tell me about your ideas and I’d argue with you, you’d get mad with me and I’d laugh… Long gone are those days and we both know it. We used to be friends, now we are nothing but strangers.

Still… I feel sorry for you. You used to be timid, idealistic, dreamer, above all material things. Now you’re just one of the many. You enjoy the same activities that you used to detest. You go out with your “friends” only to get drunk. You’re playing the cool all the time, the confident machoman. Even you change your voice as if it’d change your personality. Conformistically, you become what you’ve most hated. 

Adaptation? Probably. Degradation I’d say. You buy your clothes from the expensive shops, only brands are accepted in your wardrobe. As if the clothes will make you more confident, more valued and important. Now you don’t go to the mortals’shops, you don’t eat mortals’ food… You’re above all this since you have a bigger salary. You can spend your money on whatever you wish for in order to make yourself happy. 

Are you happy, sunshine? What are you trying to hide? Your loneliness, your complexes, your fears? Aren’t you married to that bloody solitude? You fight you say? Oh, dear, but you’re losing the battle. No? You must be kidding me! Really? Wow…

But yes, in your eyes you’re so brave, so good, so much more than the others. You have trendy clothes and big salary… 15 eu for a pair of jeans seems nothing to you… You’re my champion, a subject to a perfect change. You’re intangible. Accepted by the rest of the world, valued, even loved… 

My dear, do you really believe in all this? I know you don’t and I know you crave for it could be true. So afraid, so miserable in your fears, you’ve given up. You belong to a different world now. I still love you, my dear brother, I’ll be there for you, I’d be the one to take you back to the park and make you sit on the grass (with my capasca pantalon!!! Calm down, lion-heart, come sit on my jacket, it’s ok…), I’d listen to your problems, I’d try to help you, but… I don’t trust you anymore. You’re not the friend I used to have, you’ve killed him for the acceptance and the approval of the world. Now you’re a stranger to me, lost and distant. 

I  hope you’ll be happy in your new world. I hope you’ll enjoy your “freedom”. I hope you’ll find inner peace and harmony, friends and love… I hope… and cry. I lost a friend, but… I gained an experience. 

Sweet dreams, little bunny, and goodbye. We may meet again, but it will never be the same. Be safe and happy, dear. 

Yours, Vicky