“I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're there, please save me, Art!”

The graveyard is such a sad place – there are dead flowers everywhere – seeing them, one cannot contain the tears… 

 

I need to cry. I need to go to that special place where no one would ask me why I cry or if I need help, but will simply feel my pain. I need to stay there… I need to feel that everything’s going to be ok. I need that feeling! And it’s constantly slipping away of my hands...

Is it a bug I have? Why does the others, mes pairs, manage to survive relatively easier? Why, why do I have to feel?... Somebody please explain me the structure of the feelings and a method of studing them, so that I can manage to get free…  Silence? Comm’on, a test, a study, an experiment, statistics! Shall I take off my jacket or you can very well examine me like that? Do you need a blood probe, by the way? Or probably an urine stample? May be you’d like to ask me some questions, shall I lay on the soffa, sir?

If there are three levels of disappointment that are related into a vicious circle: 1. Vehement fight against the factor, 2. Self-aggression, 3. It’s all the same, I can say you are out of them for the moment. you feel uneasy because it's a new place with new people and you cannot find your place within them. (jajaja, thanX science! Really felt better, lol)

Dafuq, should you really be objective? Can’t you just give me a friendly, loving hug and say that’s alright?... Can’t you be human for a while and help me… Help me feel safe…

And you, Art, even though you are just a function of my thoughts, reflection of me, why did you leave me to them? Why don’t you intervene and at least take benefit of the situation? Why don’t you be my human now? You will really leave me produce this bull****… Huh, are you telling me I'm really that empty?! That’s frightening… 

NO! Don’t you ever dare to tell me I want too 
much. Don’t tell me I need time! DON’T tell me i’m putting my resources in another basket now! Just gimme the fuckin, ¡NON SEXUALLY CHARGED! hug I’m craving for!...