На път...

Travelling. This summer I had the marvelous opportunity to travel a lot. Starry Spain, green Switzerland, fresh Italy, proud Croatia and tumoiled Serbia… You all have taken a piece of my heat, I’ve been honestly fascinated by some of your dignities or another. Indeed I were. I didn’t miss you, Bulgaria… But that doesn’t mean I was not constantly thinking about you. 
I moved, you stayed there, still, resigned to you children running away from you, leaving you solitaire in your elderness. You never moaned, never complained, contrariwise – you eagerly let them go, smiling at them as you waved goodbye.
An old sovietic anecdote says “Open the frontiers, Todor Jivkov – firstly the thieves and murderers will run. Better for you, let the other countries chase them and judge them. Then the ones who consider themselves underestimated will leave. Better for you – if they can’t gain their live here, they will neither do it abroad. Then, Todore, the intelligent ones will start to leave – close the borders then! Don’t let them go!”
And what do you do, my dear Bulgaria? You are banishing exactly those intelligent youngsters, who, just like Botev, Bruchkov and so many others are bound to wander around the world in search of brighter future…
Me duele, Bulgaia… Tsaibod, Gadina, Kalotina… An anxiety conquers my heart… I’m going home! After 600 hours staring at your highways and pretty villages, digne West Europe, I’m finally going home, at my cosy, green, old, simple Bularia. Thank you, West Europe, without you and your beauty I’d never have been able to appreciate so deeply the uniqueness of my birth place…
Sofia - nowhere near perfect, for sure, but somehow... cosy, familiar, smiling, sunny, embrassing me with its maternal ambience...
Geneve…  Luxurious hotels, dazzling views, cleanness…  And a melody! “You’re beautiful, my forest”! A young man playing it! “Are you a Bulgarian?”, I ask him. “Yes!!!! But I live in Spain since I was 13… I’m here to gain some money and I go back home, in Villalba, afterwards… ”. “Enhorabuena, my friend… And... I'm sorry”, I say blushing as I give him only 20 cents…
Lutzern…  A public toilet that’s payed…  1 ch or you pee in your pants… Unless you are a  Bulgarian…Poverty leads to creativity… And no, dear Lutzernians, it’s no near funny and you should not laugh...
Saltsburg - breakfast. Sandwiches and marmalades are being sliently hidden in the travel bags. No sign of shame.. Full plates, people devouring a quantity of food that a normal person will have for two days.. Then trendy clothes are put on, make up... "take me a pic at the central place, sunshine! Thank you, now I can proove I've been in this city.". "Shaw we enter in a musium, darling?". "No need, my love - 3 ch the ticket... Moreover, I want to see the Zara shop... you promised me a new skirt...  come on, my love!"... Йебига! Is that how we really are?... Decline...
Then again my companies don’t get it. “Beautiful, clean Switzerland! That naughty, durty Bulgaria! Here everything’s perfect. I wish I were born in Western Euope…. “You do? I don’t! I like it, I’m curious to see it and thus compare it to my home, but nothing more… We have our history – 18 centuries of greatness and fights!, we have our nature – unique in it’s wonderfulness, we have our traditions, music, art, we have our natural intelligence… We have our dignity! You, who keeps admiring Western beauties mindlessly, you, my dear,  it's you who leads Bulgaria to its grave...
"Así es, en este país..." - you will go on. Mhm, continue complaining, moaring... You're doing it great! Keep doing it - nothing will change, you'll be the same lame. Congratulations!
 Yes, I feel sorry for you, Bulgaria… You deserve more…  At least you deserve proud and brave sons that would fight for you and wouldn’t abandon you… Alas, we are not such ones. We are a bunch of ambitious youngsters, perfectionists, tired of this constant fight for betterness, wondering for an easier life and a fair salary for our knowledge and qualifications… We’re betraying you, but you rest still, calm, and simply smile at us, while you bleed to death in yourself!
Yet again I write all this in English… Hilarious! A patriot-betrayer. Forgive me, I’ve changed a lot. I’ve left a piece of my heart with all the people I’ve met all along my journeys, it’s inevitable…  However, my dear Bulgaria, however much I’ve changed and I’ll change, I keep being - and I'll keep being it! -  a Bulgarian before all. I keep dreaming of you and, yes, suffering for you, smiling gently as I see you progress. I've forgiven you everything you've done to me (and what you still do) and... I will be back, some day... I won’t judge you for your misery – on the contrary, I’ll be one of the many that will be proud of it and will help you emerge from the dust. Carry on Bulgaria, carry on, Bulgarians, nothing is lost yet!